thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
PANTIES FOUND
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