I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
How's work?
Spinning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
