Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
