i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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