I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
