My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
