Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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