WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
