I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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