Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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