margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
