He had one of those small greek statue penises
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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