Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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