My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
