i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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