I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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