Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
