jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
