Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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