dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
