Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
