Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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