So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
