Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
