She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
