direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Houston, we have a squirter
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize