Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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