just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
