Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
