I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
