When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
