So drunk its hurt
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Terrible idea I love it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
