My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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