she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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