Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
