also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
