You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
