the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
