I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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