She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
