She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
