You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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