so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Randomize
