Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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