You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
