South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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