she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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