First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
