my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Drake has all the answers
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
