I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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