Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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