remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
