we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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