I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
