there's paper in my vomit.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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