Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
