Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
