meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
